Not my month.

To say that April isn’t my month, is an understatement.

A few weeks ago, on a Friday [4/8] I went on a date with J. It was great. I was a but anxious / nervous but it was all good. I would like to hang out again.

The next morning, it took a turn for the worse. I found out the guy I dated in college, CJ; died in a car accident. That brought up some feelings I didn’t know I had. We dated [I think] about two years. Including some of his deployment overseas. I graduated with his older sister, and his Mom is a friend of the family.

I decided on some retail therapy and then food, I was going to eat my feelings. I don’t know if it was the food or the norovirus, but I woke up really sick the following morning. Violently puking for about 2 hours. I slept away most of the day and went to work on Monday feeling weak. I had about 7 people ask me if I was pregnant so I wrote a huge rant on Facebook.

Last Thursday I was leaving work early to go to my second acupuncture appointment, so I was leaving about 1:30 for the day. I was finishing up some copying and I loaded more paper into the copier and tweaked my back. It was pretty bad. The acupuncture lady worked on me for 2 hours, she was an athletic trainer previously.

Friday, I was supposed to get my hair done but was feeling petty terrible, so I went to Quick Care; of course all they did was throw muscle relaxers at me. I spent the weekend mostly sleeping.

Sunday I was feeling pretty miserable, so I called the On-Call nurse at the hospital and she basically said that I could take more Advil and follow up with my regular doctor. I picked up Mom and Joe from the airport, that was nice. Then Monday was pretty miserable. I might have cried trying to put my socks on… I eventually got it.

I also had to get on my hands and knees to pick up dog poop. That’s not embarrassing at all. Monday afternoon I was able to get into the chiro, it helped some. Today I still felt pretty crappy… I had acupuncture, then went to my general practice doctor. I got some more meds, went to get X-rays and a script for physical therapy.

I’m feeling pretty fucking terrible. I am fairly certain I wouldn’t be able to get out of the tub but I know it would feel great. I just want to be able to go to the bathroom and not cry trying to wipe. I want to sleep comfortably. I just want to feel better. I’ve not been super hungry, my house is a mess. I have laundry that needs folded and put away and hell I’m not even sure I have black pants for tomorrow. My dishes are piling up. I am just a sad sack right now.

I did buy a pooper scooper from Amazon, it won’t be here until tomorrow. I’m probably just going to let Moxie poop in the back tomorrow and pick it up in the evening because I’m just not able to pick it up. Mornings are the worst.

I did my three initial acupuncture appointments but I don’t think I will go back. She has odd hours, her earliest is 9:30 and her latest is 3:30, it takes about an hour / hour and a half… so its just not really conducive of my time. And it’s pricy. I can do flex spend with it but not until the appointment. She’s very functional medicine, and I appreciate that, but my insurance does not cover that and I just can’t swing it financially. It helped with my foot pain. I’d love to have known what it could ave done for me had not focused on my back the last two appointments.

In other news, which will be a whole post of its own; I got a copy of my birth certificate and my father is not listed. I’m all in my feelings about that.

I am anxious to hear about how my X-rays come back and how much PT is going to set me back… I’m just ready for a new month. I want to take a day off just for me but I have been to so many appointments and such that it seems wrong to ask for that. I’ll wait til the end of June.

What I need is a fucking attitude adjustment.

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