Moxie is being a monster.

It’s been a rough week with the Mox… She’s been up in the middle of the night for at least 45 minutes each night, last night she was up from 1:00 am – 3:45. You read that correctly.

A little backstory, she was not crate trained immediately, shame all you want; I’ve gotten tons, you probably won’t be able to make me cry anymore than I already have. Sidenote; let’s just be clear that the crying it’s really from the shaming, although I’m sure it’s added to it; it’s out of frustration. It’s how I handle it.

In my frustration last night I asked on the Bichon Poodles FB group; which has been incredibly helpful about how to help with this; and wouldn’t you know woke up to so much shame. I even had three messages in my FB messenger for people telling me they would take her or know where I could give her / sell her to. Never once did I say I wanted to get rid of her, just that we were struggling with sleeping through the night. I had explained we had major successes with making it through the day in the crate.

I have chosen [well, kind of] to not have kids, and I’m single [is this really by choice or because the world is full of douchebaggy assholes?] but here I am a single career-woman nearing 40. Why the fuck shouldn’t I be allowed to have a dog and a job outside of the home?

Yes, she’s in a crate from 7:30 AM – 5:30 PM and until she’s 6 months old I am going to pay a dog walker to come around noon daily while I’m at work to let her out and let her run a bit. If you see any picture on my Facebook / Instagram / Snapchat [eh, still kinda using this app] you can see that she’s clearly not lacking on toys, treats, blankets, or really anything. She’s pretty fucking spoiled.

I really don’t need to defend myself, but it feels good to let it spew from my head, and what I am going to say next is really not for you to judge but it’s the internet and this is public so judge-a-fucking-way. The upside to this, I can click delete!

I’m going to try turning off the lights on the main floor – don’t worry I have plenty of Scentsy warmers that there’s enough light down there, and chill on the couch and read before bed. When I’m feeling like I’m falling asleep, because let’s be real, I probably haven’t needed to take my sleeping pill this last few months, I’m going to put her in her crate. I’ve got a flat sheet I’ll put over the crate [spoiler alert, I don’t use flat sheets and usually toss them, but mom got me new sheets and I saved it just for this!] and then I’ll go up to bed, shut the door and just might sleep more than 4 or 5 hours.

Terrible, Bad, dog mom, sure. Will she be safe and fine? Yep! If I hear her whining that she needs to go out, will I get up and take her out, sure will! Will I put her back in the crate and crawl back in bed to sleep again? You bet your ass. I’m going to try this through Monday. Gotta give everything a 3-day try. Will it be hard? Probably, but… I need sleep, for my sanity, my health, and for Moxie. She needs me to be better than I have been. I’ve been exhausted and probably not the best with her.

Yes, I know I signed up for all of this getting a puppy. I brought this all on myself. I knew it would be hard. I’m sure parents know it’s going to be hard when they have kids, too.

This too shall pass. It’s going to be a couple hard months, or hell maybe year, but she and I will get through it. I might need to ship her off to my Mom’s for a weekend every few months or so.

For now, I’m going to beg someone for an IV of Pepsi, unless it stings, then I’m out and attempt to make it through the day, a week of 4-5 hours of sleep a night is just not working. Bring on a 3-day weekend and hopefully a good night of sleep and maybe a nap or two.

I probably just need a hug, that would be nice. I’m not even a big hugger. I’d like to have these back, please and thanks.

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