I wrote this 3 years ago… I was talking to someone about this and had to share!
It’s a bit late; I’ve had a sleeping pill so here comes serious Jess:
On Mother’s Day I always wonder if she thinks of me. If she knows when she handed me over to one helluva great family. And then to worry about it for nearly 7 months before they’d sign paperwork and it would all be legal, forever not hers, but theirs.
The thing about that is, where does it leave me? The girl who grew under the heart and in a uterus / tummy of a lady whom if I met it was briefly for the first few days of life. To be handed to the forever family on day I was able to be discharged and go home with.
My heart kind of breaks for her. I am her daughter, too. I made her a mother, I want to thank her. She was strong and brave in ways most mothers don’t have to be. I do not know her. I kinda sorta want to know her. Being an adoptee is an incredible blessing. But part of it’s a little lonely too. I’m proud to be an adoptee, but there are a lot of unknowns with that. It’s a little scary, especially when it comes to the medical world. I just wish my biological family well. I hope they don’t struggle on days like today.