Feelings about the COVID19 Pandemic

I wish I was a daily journaler. That I would  have kept track of the numbers in the state by the day. Kept track of how I felt that day, how work was, what things were like  I could start, I should start. Maybe I will.

I’m getting more and more frustrated seeing people not abiding by the “suggested” stay at home order as our Governor [Kim Reynolds] has complete disregard for Dr. Fauci and doesn’t think he is in the know about what is going on. He’s an NIH physician, a lead member of the Cornoavirus Task Force, and he has worked under all the Presidents since Reagan. Our Governor is a piece of fucking work.

I wish people would realize that the sooner we all follow these social distance / shelter in home rules, the sooner we can get though this and assume a new normal.  As of right now we are now to social distance through April 30th.

As of yesterday we were at 786 positive cases – there aren’t numbers out yet today – and she doesn’t have her press conference until 2:30.  The professionals [Dr. Fauci + team] have said we haven’t even peaked yet, and by that he means New York and California.. according to that, it’s nothing here in Iowa yet.

A lot of things at work through June are cancelled or postponed. As a family we are supposed to go to Florida in June, that seems up in the air.   Our yearly Scentsy convention is unsure as of right now, they have postponed the on-sale date for registration.  If the social distancing restrictions are let up in at the end of April [which if I had to guess, it’ll be extended] do we all just go back out like nothing happened? What about someone who might have been exposed say 4/27, you an be asymptomatic for 14 days…  are we just releasing it all back out there for hell to break loose a second time!?

Are flights going to be outrageously high? I can book right now round trip to Salt Lake City – for the Scentsy convention – for $165; normally flights are about $400 and that’s on the low end.  Will people even want to travel? Would it be wise of me to just not go considering my work at the hospital?

Speaking of work, yes I am still working. Five days a week. Temperature taken by a machine that’s monitored on a computer, asked if we have a fever, new cough, shortness of breath, or a sore throat.  We are currently not wearing face masks yet. I don’t know if we even have them available for us, non-frontline staff.

I’m having trouble sleeping, even with a sleeping pill. I feel like my concentration is shitty at work. My boss has been amazing, I’m sure I’ll say this a lot. She doesn’t mind that I pull up Facebook to watch the press conferences. She often comes and sits in my “area” and just talks and what is going on, about whatever normal life we are trying to have.

At the end of March, last year I had already read 30 books. This year only 17. Even though I am home with no concerts to go to, and no stores to wonder around, you’d think I’d be reading more — well, I can’t really concentrate.  It sounds very whiny.

It’s really hard to turn my brain off – but I was so glad for the weekend and to not have to walk into that hospital for two days. Tomorrow it starts up again, five more days. I love  my job, but it’s really hard to walk in.

I need to find some journal prompts, just like they are giving kids, I need to start somewhere. I want to look back on this and be like “hell yes, I survived this”.  But I need to document the day-to-day.

jess

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