Last Wednesday I got a message from someone who was a second cousin; he lived somewhat close to me [location wise]; and we were both each others closest match; DNA wise. After I let some guards down I felt comfortable enough telling him that I knew my bio parents names and shared that with him.
Friday morning after getting to work and settling in on a project my phone dinged with a new email; for some reason I didn’t turn the ringer off.
I blocked out a few things – but this is the name that I knew of as my birth mother. This is also the lady I happened to send a message to last June on a whim. There’s a weird “message request” inbox, that serves as a junk mail type inbox, that it’s hard to access and you don’t know it’s there unless you know what are actually looking for.
Anyways. There were [and still are] a lot of emotions that came with this. A simple search on Google, and I was able to find her address. She lives a mile and a half from me, and I drive by the entrance to her neighborhood every day.
I didn’t share this with many people; I went about my work day with all these emotions, shock, excitement, anxiety, nervousness, to name a few. Lots of deep breaths wondering what I should do.
I wrote the second cousin from the message above and he did not know of my existence, nor did he feel comfortable enough sharing with her about me; and I’m completely okay with that. It actually worked out for the better.
After talking to a few people, my decision is this:
I am going to make an email account that isn’t very descriptive – my regular email contains my first and last name. I am going to write and mail her a letter with no return address; stating what I wrote in that Facebook message from last June, and probably a bit more. I will include that email address for her to reach out if she wants. Leave the ball in her court.
Essentially I’m gong to thank her, let her know I do not need anything. I was reside by an awesome family. I have a pretty awesome life. I would be open to meeting her, learning more about possibly medical history, my biological father – if she knows any information, and maybe eventually having a relationship with her. I am by no means looking for another Mom. I do kind of what to know what she would have named me, if she ever held me, saw me, anything in those two days between my birth and going home with my family. I really just want her to know she was / is brave. I am thankful for her choice.
So now… I need to write a letter, and then send it.
Also, can we say a big “hell ya / thank you” whatever it is you say that she doesn’t have any kids? I mean, yes, I always wanted a sister [weird, I know] but thankfully I haven’t dated my brother unknowingly! I mean… I guess at least on my Mom’s side.
everyday jess 