I’ve got a lot of jumbled thoughts in my head so I’m getting them out and on
paper the screen. I will say this, I’m not feeling depressed; just a little disappointed. I’m a pretty happy, upbeat person. I just sometimes need some place to get my feelings out, so here it is.
On leadership in the Scentsy world:
I often wonder if I’m cut out to have a team under me. At my largest we were a group of 8, now we’re down to 6 with the possibility of losing another at the end of the month. I understand that Scentsy isn’t for everyone, and not all are as driven as I am. I just wish I could do a better job at leading them. I watch trainings, attend team meetings, read about it, attend events, but need to make some actual systems and follow through. Of the things I want to do most are a welcome to the team packet and a promotion / incentive something or other for those on my team who promote and those who earn an incentive offered by Scentsy.
I need to spend more time doing one-on-one training with my team; but it’s a matter of them agreeing to it. I’ve attempted team meetings (or more so, get togethers) and it’s happened once in three years, because we’re all just busy people.
On my weight:
I am very confident about my “four handers” my thick thighs. I often joke about #ChunkyChickConfessions but I’m 35, and closer to 40. I am not at a healthy weight. I bought myself a recumbent bike in late January / early February; and it’s currently still in the box waiting to be put together. Note to self: put this together over the weekend. I do not eat the best – it’s not easy to cook for one. I know people are all on the Keto train and my epileptic self gets frustrated by this; they need to be lucky it was not a prescribed thing for them. Back to my original jumbled thoughts. I’m doing much better with my sleep, and oftentimes wake up before my alarm during the week and even waking up before 8 on the weekends. I think I need to pick a few days a week, and get up and walk for 30 minutes then get ready and do the work thing. It’s getting old being fat. It’s getting even older not having many clothes that fit, and feeling good in the ones I do have.
I’m feeling a little lost in a way. Friendships have come and gone, more gone than come for me, but that’s okay it’s just the nature of it all. I’m feeling a little like I want to date, but don’t want to share my bed with anyone. A little lonely, but also content that I can eat what and when I want, read all day if I wish, only wake up and brush my teeth and not give a fuck about anything else. But let’s be real, I do the very minimum to be presentable day-to-day. Shower, no make up, very little hair fussing, clean clothes and go. I don’t wear make up, or have painted nails, or really much of anything that’s super girly. I kinda feel I need to change something; but I’m content-ish.
Since taking the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University classes I’ve changed my outlook on money. I do not follow his plan to a T; but I am tracking my bills, my incoming and outgoing. I need to hone in on a few things like allot money for groceries, gas, other spending; we’ll call it fluff. Likely shit I can live without. My car is a 2008 and it’s needing a little more love than it required when I first bought it. Thankfully it’s paid off. I know the reality is that soon I’ll have to face the dilemma of paying for repairs or trading it in.
I need to stop being so lazy and take care of me, I need to work my Scentsy business a bit better, for myself, my customers, and my teammates. I need to eat better and incorporate some sort of exercise into my life even if it’s just walking. I need to just be a better me.