Maybe I will regret this post someday, but for now I’m writing it because it’s how I feel, and the words of Bobby Bones “you’re feelings are never wrong”. Also, I am 99% sure I will never regret this. Even if I ever become heather or a mom.
I’m writing this at 8:45 PM Wednesday evening and I am hungry. I had a few small pieces of pizza for lunch [someone sent me pizza at work anonymously today – what!? awesome! but now I’m starving, so I’ll write my hunger in words]
I am a chunky chick; this happens when you weigh 257. Why the ever loving fuck are there crop tops in the plus section of Maurice’s? WHY? I admire you brave belly showing chicks, but not this girl. Also what’s with the strapless tops? If I am shopping in the plus size, there’s a chance my girls are also heftier… they are not comfortably held up by a strapless bra just to you know hang out, it’s for special occasions. Maurice’s, if you are listening, I like my shoulders [even a slit in the side] and tummy covered, sleeves a bit longer [I got flab that I don’t need everyone seeing!] and while I’m at it, I hate wine, and coffee, and I’ve got no kids. Maybe I need to rethink life, maybe this is why I’m single?
And while I’m feeling ranty, I’m 35 [and a half for good measure] and single, no kids. Every cute / clever / snarky shirt out there says Mom on it or some Bible verse. Look people I don’t own a Bible. I’m not a #BoyMom or #TiredAsAMother I’m just tired cuz I read a whole damn book last night. I don’t see the bible verse on your shirt or your wall art and know what it means other than ponder why and the hell my PIN number is on said shirt or wall art.
Since I’m feeling oh-so positive… thanks for listening to my rant. I really truly am going to probably stay up way too late and read a book. I need to find food. What chunky chick waits til almost 9 PM to have supper?