Recently I’ve had some friends who I just stopped hearing from.
One I’ve not heard from since August. Nothing on Facebook, no text, no phone call (I rarely had calls from this friend, but still). We will call this person B.
Another I’ve not heard from for a few months and reached out for payment on Scentsy. They were upset that I sent an invoice, we will call this person N. I needed the remaining payment from February. They were upset that their first name was shown in my planner of money owed – which I have a carry over each month of a running list of “money owed”. I do this because my planner is with me almost always vs a note on my desk at home.
I sent N a note on FB Messenger that I had the invoice to them and they said “I just stopped talking to them”. Well, in this time, they know that 1) we were moving into the new hospital, so I was working more than my normal hours at work, and 2) my grandpa died.
I explained how I was disheartened to see that not one single friend, outside of Shawn and the friends who work with me / my family sent their condolences for Grandpa Marty.
Maybe it’s wrong on my part; that I feel a little hurt that they could reach out too, or that I shouldn’t have to be the one to send a text, stop over, or call, post on my FB wall. But I think it says a lot that in nearly 10 months one hasn’t said boo to me, and it took me sending a FB message about money owed for Scentsy to get something out of the other to “hear’ from them. Perhaps I need to reevaluate, but is that a friendship? Am I doing something wrong?
I oftentimes do what I think is kind things, stop over with a small, thoughtful gift for birthdays, or a just because gift for a kiddo, or visit someone in the hospital, send a card for a loss of a family member, offer my condolences in person if I am able at a visitation. I like to think I have a big heart and am a good friend. I try my best to help out if I can when I am able. But maybe I’m not?
But I don’t think I should have to be the one to start everything, I shouldn’t have to be the one to call, always, if you want to find out whats up with me, text me, send me a message on FB. I mean, yes, I can be a real bitch, but I also give a lot of second chances. Relationships of any kind are not one-sided, both parties should have to put forth some effort, I do not think I am wrong at wanting at the friend(s) to try a little.
Yes, life gets a little busy, mine is too. But is it really that busy to just say “Hey I don’t need anything, we haven’t talked in a while, I’m just heading into my office, but wanted to say hey” It doesn’t need a reply, no action is necessary, it’s simple.
I always joke about removing my birthday from Facebook; how many will remember (or even know when it is) if Facebook wouldn’t tell them? Probably like 3. Your mom, dad and siblings… if that.
Yes, I’ve kept to myself a lot lately. It’s cheap, almost free. I’m really attempting to stick to my budget – which I don’t exactly have one, but I need to read Dave Ramsey’s book and make one other than a list of my bills. i just don’t do the whole church thing for Financial Peace University… If I could do his system sans church, I’d be in! Yoga pants and a comfy hoodie and my kind of good time. EVERYTHING costs money. I’m tempted to eat when I’m out, when I’m home, I’ll find something to eat. It’s amazing how much money you don’t spend when you go through your cupboards and whip up something. No matter how much you want Taco Bell. I mean, I really want Taco Bell. Or steak.
But… honestly, is a friendship really a friendship if you have to do all the work? And if so, what is the point? To me that says someone is using you, even if they don’t know they are. Do they claim you as a friend if they haven’t talked to you / been in touch with you in 10 months? Let’s taco bout it?