I haven’t been a good friend lately

The subject says it all. I haven’t been a good friend lately. This last probably year has been hectic, and crazy, and emotional, and a lot of things. I’ve totally been a crappy friend. I’ve basically put everything into work [both the day job and Scentsy]. And pushed everything else aside.  I kind of want to apologize, but part of me isn’t so quick to do so.  Friendship is a two-way street.

My work; both the day job and Scentsy are what pays the bills, puts a roof over my head, food on my plate [I don’t eat at a table, or even have one], but honestly, my life has been work. A lot of it. Extra hours at the day job, extra stress, a little more intentional time with Scentsy, devoting time to the business each night after the day job, and on weekends. Throwing myself into online training, to better myself, my business, leading my growing team, all that comes with it.

Sure I haven’t gone to as many concerts / shows as I used to; going alone sucks, but I’ve done that. I had a great friend, who got pissy about something stupid, and hasn’t really talked to me since August, but let’s get real, was that person a good friend if they haven’t reached out since then? Probably not. I get it, people start dating people, priorities change, life directions change, but it takes 20 seconds to type a text out that says “Hey, sorry to hear your grandpa passed”. Maybe I’m bitter because only one friend who I know in person – the rest are Scentsy friends I’ve yet to meet or only see at our annual convention – reached out; aside from the very kind comments my FB friends posted. While I very much appreciate those words that were virtual hugs, sometimes a text would be more.  I really do value all of my Facebook friends in someway or another, otherwise I’m totally that girl who would unfriend. Maybe I’m upset because I’m 34 and in the past 3 years I’ve lost 4 grandparents and I’ve gone to I don’t know how many visitations, and sent cards, flowers, and not a single friend sent a card, or came to my grandparents. Sometimes I wish the bitch that I am could stand up for myself more. I get it death sucks, it’s not fun, but it’s a respect thing. If they are your friend, show some respect.  [To be fair, I’m not saying I have shitty friends, I’m just wondering if maybe I give too much and expect that in return? Also I’m hungry and haven’t slept much]

Yes, I haven’t been so great at reaching out either, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to always be the one to start it, to buy the tickets, to ask for people to hang out, so I just quit. It’s given me more time to save money [which I really don’t need to be blowing] and time to throw myself even more into my Scentsy  business. Maybe I have too high of expectations.

I really needed that vacation to Nashville, but part of me thinks I need a long weekend, a beach chair or a floaty in a pool and not worrying about anything. I mean if I have Cheerios, milk, four or five books on my iPad… I’m golden.

Maybe the weather here just needs to stop being so fucking gloomy? We didn’t really have a winter but tornadoes have already started, now it’s rainy and muddy. Will there be green!? I need to get the patio furniture put together so I can read on my patio.

I need an attitude adjustment, and a filet, medium rare, baked potato with just butter, a salad with ranch and some comfy pants. If you can make a good strawberry daiquiri or two, I probably wouldn’t turn that down.

I need to change out my Scentsy wax, put something fun in the diffuser [Orange, Strawberry Melon, probably] and recheck this attitude, cuz negative isn’t getting me anywhere. To quote Ed Sheeran from What Do I Know “Just love and understanding, positivity”

Yes, my friend, yes. Although I do believe his best song; Bibia Be Ye Ye; which the lyrics go a little something like this:

I tell myself in every way I won’t be doing this again / and tomorrow’s a brand new day someone told me / always say what’s on your mind / and I am only being honest with you I get lonely / and make mistakes from time to time / se enioma enko ye / bibia be ye ye / wo nooma be ye ye

This is a Ghanan’ language Twi.

Bibia be ye ye = everything will be alright                                                                                        Se enioma enko ye = If things aren’t going well                                                                              wo nooma = your problems will be solved.

This is probably one of my top five favorite songs ever.