Oh but weight…

Growing up I was always tall and thin; my parents had a hard time finding clothes for me; because I was pretty tall for my age. I was a picky eater, but when I found what I liked; there was no stopping me! I weighed 135 as a sophomore in high school and was 155 when I graduated. I worked about 30 hours a week; my senior year of high school I was taking 3 of 4 blocks of classes because I had most of my classes fulfilled. I just didn’t want to graduate early.

Throughout college I did gain the “freshman 15” and then some. In 2004 I was at 189 – don’t ask me how I remember, I just do. When I moved into the current apartment I live at I weighed 209; and I currently 249.6 on the scale today; which is down from my highest of 261 and some change. I know that going from a food service job of being on my feet and moving a lot to an office job with a change of birth control and epilepsy meds throws a wrench into things; but age doesn’t help, nor does my nonexistent exercise routine and crappy eating.

I love Pepsi; I grab one each morning in the cafeteria on my way into my office, and have at least 2 more throughout the day. I hardly ever finish them; so I would say that I probably drink 2 full 20-oz bottles.

I’m not one to make resolutions; because like a lot of people they are given up on the first few weeks. I did however promise myself to be more intentional; with money and time. With that comes with eating at home; not getting take out and not spending so much. I’ve cooked at home more, while it’s not healthy it beats the hell out of take out, and if I have plenty of ice, I’ve been drinking more and more water. I’m not dieting or doing it on purpose, it’s just because I’m making a conscious decision to have water vs pop; mostly for the sake of my checking account. Yes, I buy ice; but the water is free.

I’ve noticed recently my work pants are a bit loose – and this week I’ve worn running tights (that I do not run in!) under them because it’s been so very Iowa with frigid weather.

I’ve not been buying much snacky stuff (Oreos and junky stuff) because again, it’s tough on the checkbook, so I’ve been either making due with what I have at home; or going without; and shocker it’s not killing me!

Part of me didn’t want to write about this because you know; it’ll blow up in my face next week. I’ve limited myself to only getting on the scale once a week – on Wednesday’s. For a while I was getting a little obsessed about it and beating myself up over the numbers. It’s no secret I’m very comfortable making fun of myself for being a #ChunkyChick and hashtaging #ChunkyChickProbs on social media or poking fun at reasons why plus size clothes cost more, the list could go on; but really. I would love to go into a store and buy something off the rack that’s not in the “Chunky Chick section”. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again. On the outside it may look and seem like I am; but I’m not. The reason I am making fun of myself is because I’m beating you and everyone else to it.


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