Healing

*This was previously in a private journal; I’m posting here for reference.

I’m finally feeling more and more healed, the bruise on my head is about gone, I feel like the concussion is about gone – if not all the way. The nasty bruise on my arm is still there, but not near as dark, the one on my leg is about gone as well. It’s been 10 days can you believe it.

I have some days that are worse than others, but I’m still having to tell the story of it all. I’m still having to tell the people who were at the accident thank you – today I got to see/hug/thank one of the one’s [Denny] who was first there thank you, it was hard to fight back the tears, but I did it. It was good to tell him thank you, not just in the card, or in the paper, but in person. He was pretty proud too, and glad to see I was okay.

I’m glad to be able to tell everyone that “I’ve had lots of angels watching over me and I was very lucky” and I will still swear by that. I would like to find a tattoo to signify this accident/my epilepsy, and I’m going to work on that.

I’m going to try and look at this as a positive thing, but I know I will have my moments. I’m going to try and enroll in online winterim classes come that semester, at least the one Lit 2 class that I need to finish that one degree – it will give me something to do to occupy some boring time. I have to set up some appointments to have my step-mom take me to, some can be done across the street – which is nice to have that doctor’s office over there.

I feel like maybe this is everyone being too nice too soon and it’ll all wear off; but at the same time… this is the first time I had an accident with a seizure, so maybe it will stay in their mind and they will actually keep up with it and if they say they will let me tag along, they will.

I ordered a few books from the Epilepsy Foundation – one is “Women with Epilepsy” and the other is “Living Well With Epilepsy” so I’m anxious to read those, but at the same time, it kinda scares me what I’m going to find out.

I’m sure I’ll have my moments, but I am trying to be positive, it’s definitely going to be a bumpy road…  This is tough, but I’m tougher. Scratch that; that’s what cancer patients say.  How ’bout this: I have epilepsy but it does not have me!